To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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