just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
