if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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