You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize