apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
