I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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