She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Randomize
