I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You're like the curious george of whores
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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