He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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