he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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