that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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