you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize