Pants 0. Shit 1.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize