I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
