I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
