Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
