The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
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