Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
