xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
