I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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