I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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