i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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