got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
