So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
