9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize