omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
