i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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