Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
