Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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