just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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