genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
