so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i think i have herpe
just one?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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