I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize