I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
