one two three fourrrrnication!
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
