Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
