I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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