thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
