Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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