there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
