i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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