Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
