oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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