if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
