Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize