my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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