Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize