hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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