there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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