even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
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I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
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Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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