he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
