Pappa wants mamma naked
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
