The maid of honor just puked.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
