Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
