Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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